Pretty Sure…

…I’m exhausted. Yup, I am. And, I’m not sure that this exhaustion will be dissipating any time in the near future.

School started last Wednesday, so as of this point, we’ve gotten one whole week under our belts. I’m already looking forward to Labor Day and a three day weekend. Don’t get me wrong, because I really do love my job, LOVE my job, but I have had the hardest time being away from Grace during the day. She is being incredibly well taken care of, so I don’t have to worry about her while I’m at school (huge relief), but it doesn’t stop me from missing her non stop. By the time we get home in the evenings, we usually only have a few hours until she’s ready for bed. I knew I would miss her. I knew that it would be hard. I’m just not sure that I knew it would be this bad. I thought for sure as the days went by, that it would get easier. In some ways it has. Leaving in the morning this last Friday was much easier than on the first Monday (when I sat in my bathroom and cried for 20 minutes before getting ready), but I found as the week progressed I just missed her more, until I found myself bawling when I picked her up Thursday afternoon. I never imagined myself as a stay at home mom (possible because my mother had to work, and when I was in high school, worked two jobs), but if we had the means, I would definitely be home with her hands down. I’ve been having this fantasy that we’ll win the lottery and that I’ll be able to stop working to stay home with Grace. Of course, I’d still somehow get to teach, at least a little. This is my fantasy, so really anything goes, right? Some ideas that I had is that I’d get to stay home, however, I’d still get to teach my advisory class. Or, I’d get to teach my advisory class and maybe one block of literacy, and while I’m teaching literacy Grace could hang out with one of our more responsible 8th graders. It could be an elective. Or, maybe I’d just take the year off, or possibly 6, and then once Grace was in school, I’d magically get my position back. With this being my fantasy, I’d somehow make Marsing just a tad bit closer to Meridian. It’s a long shot, I know. But if you can’t get everything you want in your fantasy, then when can you?

Bottom line is, I miss my daughter. I hear this will get easier, so we’ll see.

On another note, school is going well. I’m excited for this year. I can tell I’ve got some really great kids and I’m looking forward to mixing some of my lesson up and hopefully continuing to grow and improve as a teacher.

I’m in some what of a debate with myself on whether or not I’ll teach “The Hunger Games” again. I absolutely love the book and my kids ate it up last year. I got some amazing discussions out of it and some really good writing. It’s hard to pass up a book that produces the interest and the results that “The Hunger Games” did. However, I’m a little concerned about some parents’ reaction to their student reading it, let alone in school. It’s a YA book, and I definitely feel that 7th graders can handle it, but I also understand that some parents may not be comfortable with it. So, we’ll see.

Well, this entry has gone nowhere and the baby’s starting to wake up. If you’re reading this, I hope you’re doing well!


One thought on “Pretty Sure…

  1. I love you and part of this made me sad. Like you crying for twenty minutes on the floor before going to work…I love you. I think it's entirely fine to fantasize and I think it's valuable…laws of attraction 🙂 Also, if you won the lottery and would work for free, I'm pretty sure they'd let you come and have an advisory group or a lit block without any argument!

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