Goodbye

My first experience with saying goodbye to a friend was when I was eight. Tammy, the little girl who lived just a few townhouses down from me, was moving into a new house across town. My little heart was devastated. The day she left I bawled. I can remember standing in the parking lot of our townhouses and watching her car pull away, tears streaming down my face (now whether that actually happened, or if it’s just the way my melodramatic subconscious remembers it, is up for debate.) What I know for sure is that I spent that evening curled up on my mom’s lap while she rubbed my back and let me cry, and I ached.

Well, I can whole heartedly say, that saying goodbye to a friend twenty years later, isn’t much different.  While I didn’t curl up on my mother’s lap this time, goodbye at 28 still aches the same.  My dear, dear, dear friend Amanda and her daughter left yesterday morning for Arizona, where my friend was offered a teaching job. (Damn you Idaho government and your constant cuts to education!  I blame you for making my friend move thousands of miles away!) It feels like our goodbye came out of nowhere, because it did. Last Wednesday we had been watching “So You Think You Can Dance” in my rec room and talking about the Skype interview she had scheduled with an Arizona school the following morning.  Fast forward to Sunday and I’m trying really hard, but not successfully, to hold back tears, as both Amanda and Cecily say goodbye to my husband and Fenix, and then the following morning, where Grace and I do the same.

I’ve been a mess.  I cried when she told me she was moving.  I cried when she said goodbye to Ken and Fenix.  I cried again the next morning as I blow dried my hair, and then AGAIN when we said goodbye, and then ONCE MORE when I was shopping at Walmart later in the day.

I’m a sap, I know, but

good friends are hard to come by, especially ones that go to midnight “Twilight” premieres with you, or help set up for your daughter’s first birthday, or bring over a birthday cake for your step-son because you’ve been spending all your time at the hospital with your mother and didn’t have the time to make one.  OR that share the same coffee addiction that you do, or watch SYTYCD while eating something wretchedly unhealthy, or that teach the same grade level with you, or, or, or…

You get the point.

I am SO excited for her to move to Arizona and begin this new life adventure.  I have a good feeling about it, but on a selfish level, I ache.  It’s only been a day and I miss her like crazy.  I am so grateful to have been blessed with our friendship, and I know it will continue even if we’re states away, but for now, I’m a bit sad.

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One thought on “Goodbye

  1. and you made me bawl reading this. i thought of you all day today in training. i miss you like crazy. and i love you!

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